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13 May 2011 @ 03:06 am
From Twitter 05-12-2011  

  • 00:00:37: 2nd gathering with @Cackles! Some racist remarks were said, but don't worry. I was the one saying them.
  • 08:12:54: A dog and a tree get together and have a puppling. What do they name it? Bark #badjoke
  • 08:17:41: What did the squirrel say to the cat that stopped chasing it? You pussy! #badjokes
  • 09:17:46: RT @QuinnK: Let's be honest - when you say, "We're in this together!" what you really mean is, "I need someone to blame if this thing fa ...
  • 09:18:18: RT @Angela_Pasley: Just changed my status on FaceBook to 'In a relationship with Twitter.'
  • 09:25:29: I like when people post events on Facebook with a list of people they want to come,like making a "To Murder" list,but without the effort!
  • 09:28:24: I hate the fact that you can hide and filter people out of Facebook posts. Um, don't you realize that makes it harder to stalk you? Duh!
  • 09:31:36: I remember,before cell phones,laptops&wide access to the internet,it being difficult to stay in contact with others.Now they just ignore me
  • 09:39:36: I'm prone to overdramatic outbursts and if you don't believe me then I swear to god I'll fucking jump off this brigde right now!
  • 09:41:30: When I look back on today, I want to think about everything that's happened and say "huh"
  • 09:43:54: I'm not sure I understand the saying "Get your rocks off" when it comes to sex because I wouldn't call these squishy meat nuggets "rocks"
  • 09:45:30: Perhaps "Get your rocks off" is derived from the sense of utter joy and relief people feel when passing a stone.No,no orgasm is THAT strong
  • 09:47:03: I almost called foreplay, fourplay. Which if you think about it, both are equally enjoyable.
  • 10:42:40: Ghosts appear and fade away
  • 11:34:26: If you give me money that I use to pay my rent, is that a non-profit donation and thus, tax deductible?
  • 11:36:50: "If it doesn't get all over the place, it doesn't belong in your face" should be put on boxers .
  • 11:51:49: Tiny mints clanking around in a tiny tin can = annoying
  • 11:54:23: If I could cut people with my mind,some would be covered in scars.Others might need limb replacement.But don't worry,it's nothing important
  • 11:56:20: Sometimes I think my life is a cursed monkey paw. Or at the least evil FroYo
  • 12:29:23: I'm told I think too much, which is funny since if you read my tweets it's pretty clear not to much "thinking" goes on up there.
  • 14:02:47: Beat myself with a big studded paddle the other day,wondered if I'd bruise.Appear the answer's yes.But not by much.Solution: try harder.
  • 14:05:31: With the PSN clusterf*ck, I'm not at all surprised PS3 trade-in for 360s has increased. We're people just like you. We need our fix.
  • 15:19:42: RT @mocoddle: Whenever I see a nail I think, "I could tap that."
  • 15:29:35: They say smiling is good for you on multiple levels.I wonder if the same applies to "I'm gonna rip your throat out with my fingers" smiles?
  • 15:44:31: I'm falling asleep at my desk. I need to listen to something a bit quicker and louder than speed metal.
  • 15:45:24: That was funny until I realized I was infact falling asleep to loud speed metal. *shakes head*
  • 16:00:49: Gonna see a person about a head Dr. next week.Until then…count to 10? Think happy thoughts? These quick fixes are having the OPPOSITE effect
  • 16:03:25: Listening to Little River Band. The line for kicking my ass starts around the corner. Single file. No doubles!
  • 16:05:33: You know the look animals get when you turn on the vac? Everyone with allergies just made the same face as they heard the Spring lawnmowing.
  • 16:09:41: Spent so much of my life worrying about what others think of me,I wonder what it'll be like when I stop?Will I hit new heights of assholery?
  • 16:14:40: I must not have been beat enough as a child because now I want to buy a big paddle and find someone willing to use it on me.
  • 16:19:58: One of my playlists is full of songs I should be embarrassed to admit liking.And it would seem I need to listen to them all, right Fastball?
  • 16:25:45: In a half asleep daze a co-worker caught me passionately lipping the words to 10cc's "I'm Not In Love" Sadly she didn't shoot me after
  • 16:27:51: If I'm trying to re-capture my youth, could I also have my 18 year old body back too? No? Didn't think so.
  • 16:29:02: Yo know, I say some pretty damn clever things sometimes. You people should acknowlege my clear greatness :P
  • 16:30:45: When I hear "Blue Shadows On The Trail" my immediate reaction is to sleep or for it to be insanely hot. I'd also accept talking animals.
  • 16:48:10: You know a Christian R&B song has a strong msg to it when they no longer apply to you yet you still feel that good ol' religious guilt.
  • 17:10:53: I find i hate other people's phone conversations.
  • 17:21:29: Girl on bus seriously rocking out to headphones.Of course,i've seen porn stars "rock" the same way.Singing?Not so much
  • 17:25:32: "I wish i had a video camera to record this" also applies to seat dancing girl and 'rocking' porn stars.
  • 17:34:16: Friends say "learn to love yourself before you can accept love from others" good thing I discovered masturbation early then.o

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