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12 May 2011 @ 03:04 am
From Twitter 05-11-2011  

  • 08:04:38: RT @emilyvolman: Guys! I'm only 4 more followers away from 900 people-I-will-try-harder-to-offend!!
  • 08:16:53: Good morning children.In a better mood than usual.Possibly from getting more sleep.Might be all those drugs I took in the morning.Who knows!
  • 08:26:27: When our office passes around secret birthday cards, I feel like a special agent on a spy mission of absolutely no importance.
  • 08:29:21: ♪ Secret agent man! Secret agent man! You're passing around a birthday card! Getting people to sign their name! ♪
  • 08:53:23: RT @RockBand: I can’t wait to play the new @foofighters tracks in RB3! #FFDLC
  • 09:05:18: I'm told I apologize too much for things that don't need apologizing for. I suppose it's true. Hmm, this tweet wasn't very amusing. Sorry.
  • 09:53:36: There's an elaborate story playing out in my head that is not real life.Hopefully it doesn't get too complicated.I tend to yell myself awake
  • 10:01:54: Being really sleep is like being on a drug that makes it so you can't do anything and are a disappointment to others. OK, so like MOST drugs
  • 10:21:29: Having a surprisingly good AM.It almost seems too good to be true,but I'll think it over when I go out to my golden rocket car I won earlier
  • 10:30:46: Pretty stoked for LA Noire. Now if I can get around this not having money issue to buy it. Hmm,looks like it's 647 time! http://bit.ly/eno7Q
  • 10:56:14: My biggest fear,realize I made a big mistake,everything I know is wrong and it's too late to turn back.This must be Cliff Clavin's fear too.
  • 12:04:16: RT @vanessaragland: New @pmcpodcast w GARFUNKEL & OATES (@garfunkeloates)! That's @katemicucci & @rikilindhome- http://tinyurl.com/3k3f ...
  • 12:24:47: Are you following me and not following @emilyvolman ? She's funny, smart, pretty and I'm not just saying that so she'll return my cat to me.
  • 12:28:28: Know how you can tell when a follow recommend means it? Because I'm not doing it on Friday. Oh shit, this @emilyvolman must be good!
  • 12:30:44: If you really want to know the winners, you should look through my Favorites. I mean, they were so good, I bothered reading AND clicking.
  • 12:35:18: While telling you to follow people,not that you lazy bastards listen,you should also follow @emilyvolman.Wait,that's what I've been saying
  • 12:36:48: If you're a writer,student,teacher,or any field that involves writing,you should follow @ArchEditing.Helpful hints.Great links.Good follow
  • 12:43:23: Beauty isn't something that's spackled on like so much colored paste&powder.It comes from inside&out,mask or no.Hear me you dolled up whore?
  • 12:45:18: I wonder what I'd have to do to get more awesome followers like yourselves. Give away stuff? Trade sexual favors? Do unspeakable things?!
  • 12:49:23: If you're a writer, I do suggest following @ArchEditing. I find their writing sprints and helpful links would help keep me on track.
  • 12:53:22: I wonder if people would notice if I just took longer and longer lunches. Seeing as that this one is reaching the two hour mark, maybe not.
  • 13:05:52: This service cat is doing it wrong - http://youtu.be/JhlfT-x6Ys0
  • 13:09:47: Notice that if you spell GOD backwards, it spells DOG? Did you also notice that noticing that means you have too much time on your hands?
  • 13:12:13: If I say the word "Fujiko" what comes to mind first? 1) Busty 2) Clever 3) Camera or 4) NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEERD!!!!! #nerd
  • 13:15:14: Britney Gears #robotpopstars
  • 13:16:04: The Artist Formerly Manufactured as Prince #robotpopstars
  • 13:17:50: Lady GoBot #robotpopstars
  • 13:18:49: Miley Circuits #robotpopstars
  • 13:24:34: I think I'll stop with the #robotpopstars hashtag, as hilarious as they were, before @Cackles kills me.
  • 13:26:09: Have you followed @emilyvolman yet? You need MORE reasons? How bout this? http://t.co/YR52oyb - She can draw Ziggy. DO EET!
  • 13:29:38: If you follow @emilyvolman,she promises to send me lots of her followers AND name a child after me.Some or both of these claims may be lies.
  • 13:30:55: I may be brave enough to lie to get more followers but are you brave enough to follow me to perpetuate the lie?
  • 13:32:15: Yes, I use big words like "perpetuate" in my tweets because they sound good THEN look them up to see if they work. This is a flawed method.
  • 13:33:18: If you were wondering, and you weren't, I consider "flawed" one of those big words #anythingoverfiveletters
  • 13:58:41: I'm a giant flirt. Don't believe me? Ask one of my dozens of wives and/or girlfriends. But not my boyfriend. He's the jealous type.
  • 14:02:40: My sexuality's not an indicator of who I am,so stop referring to me as the gay guy,unless you catch me blowing a guy,then Steve is optional.
  • 14:07:13: After having slept with two guys at once, I've determined that I'm not gay #themoreyouknow
  • 14:10:53: The concept of me sleeping with another person, let alone multiple people, is hilarious considering I'm undesirable. Oh, and also a eunuch.
  • 14:13:51: If it wasn't for all of my complaining, sexual remarks and office rumors, I'd want my co-workers to know about this twitter. I'm funny!
  • 14:21:21: I wouldn't know what it was like to be looked at with lustful eyes. If it's anything like disgusted eyes, I can see why people don't like it
  • 14:22:01: Do you know what my favorite sandwich filling is? Everything
  • 14:30:45: If unemployed,I'd spend the my day working out to get in shape. This would be true if working out meant masturbating and got you in shape.
  • 14:33:02: People don't like thinking about others masturbating,especially if you picture me as a huge gelatinous blob that smells of cheetos & yoo-hoo
  • 15:23:05: I got oddly quiet for a while = I remembered I still have to work whilst at work.

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